Bits and Pieces


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To the Editor:

I can picture a battlefield and Biden is standing in the middle waving a flag. 

Stop Firing! Stop Firing! Time Out! 

The batteries in our tanks need recharging and the fighter planes are catching fire halfway down the runway. 

Al Gore flew to Switzerland with his carbon emitting private jet. His speech said the seas are boiling and we’re all going to get hit with rain bombs. All of this is due to climate change. And that’s caused by overpopulation. Al Gore believes in his theory. Now to prove his leadership he will be the first lemming to jump off the cliff of the Matterhorn.  

December 16, 1773, the Boston Tea Party. The day America was born. Americans’ insurrection. Liberty. Independence. Freedom. Like wildfire it went through all of the colonies. Rag tag poorly fed, shoddy equipment, amateur soldiers fought and died for what they believed in. Americans threw off their shackles. Intellect ingenuity and hard work shot up like a gushing geyser. Americans took the wilderness and turned it into the best, most powerful and richest country known through all world history. Americans’ insurrection, belong right up there with Mom, Apple Pie, and Baseball. Now tamer words are used. Deal vs deal. The ballot box decides which will rule the next term. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and freedom are forever by Americans. 

Shades of Dulcinea! There once was a HUGE mound of salt. In a war of self-survival this mound of salt was likened to the warrior Don Quixote! They are both engaged in a fierce battle tilting at windmills.  

You might be interested in my opinion of Governor Lamont 

I am a 94-year-old blind veteran. My wife is 88 years old. We live in a house that is 170 years old. You mandated our egg out of our nest. You mandated taking the shine away from our golden years and replaced it with rust. You mandated shortage of gasoline, home heating oil, and food. You mandated that we shiver while we decide which meal we will not eat today. You mandated high prices that only you could afford groceries for your well-heated mansion. Your fortune is fat and happy and warm in another country. You must think that I am dumber than dumb but let me assure you, when I cast my ballot I will be very, very smart.  

The Alaska Pipeline is 800 miles long. It has a capacity of 84 million barrels every 24 hour day. As of right now, the last I heard, only 3 pumps are operating and it’s just about 2 million barrels a day. A barrel holds 42 gallons. Now, my question is – how many windmills will it take to replace the energy in one million barrels of oil each and every day? 

Who is that? I know, it’s my mother. Your mother. Everybody’s mother. Her head is hanging down. She has a frown but no, it looks more like a grimace. There is a tear in her eye. Her fingers are curled up in a tight clench and her walk is more like a stomp. What could have caused this look of anger and frustration? Oh, there it is! She just left a School Board meeting! The members called her a domestic terrorist. They threatened to ruin her life and send the IRS, the FBI, the CIA, the Homeland Security, the National Guard with the backing of the US Army, Navy, Air Force and even the Coast Guard. There was even some mention of a kitchen sink. And they also would throw the book at her even if all they had was the Farmers’ Almanac. Her mind, wary of blowing a fuse, tried to think of other things. A Mama Bear was taking her cubs to the river for their first fish banquet. A big male Grizzly bear was there ahead of them. He saw the cubs and immediately started to drool. Mama Bear knew what the Grizzly had in mind, so she jumped in front of him, stood up on her toes, eyeballs to his chin, and said “No! You are not going to get my cubs!’ I will fight you with tooth and nail and claw. But you will not get my cubs.” Of course, Grizzly paid her no attention. He turned to get another bite of fish. Mama Bear took advantage of this slight hesitation and led her cubs off to the safety of the woods with a promise to go fishing another day. Mother said I cannot fight like that with tooth and nail and claw. Besides, what would my manicurist say? But I have to do something to fight back. A few stomps further, she thought of a past president that spoke softly but carried a big, ugly stick. Heck, I don’t even have a stick! But I’ve got to do something! But what? A few stomps further, she thought of a much older story about a big sword lying peacefully in its innocent scabbard. As the story goes, once that sword is withdrawn it cannot return without the taste of blood. Mother shivered at that thought. No, no, no that won’t do! I have to keep looking. A little further along, she stopped suddenly. She raised her head, the grimace turned to a frown, and then to a knowing smile. The tear in her eye disappeared, her fingers reappeared, they uncurled from their clench. And now, her stomp turned into a stride. She knows what she has to do. There she goes into that building. Maybe that’s where the weapons are stored. A few minutes later, she came out. Her hands are empty. She has a wonderful look of great satisfaction on her face. I’m looking, but where? Then I see it. It’s on her lapel. A sticker that says I Voted today. All I can say, the moral of this story is, do not ever, and I mean ever, attempt to come between a Mama Bear and her cubs! 

Pound! Pound! Pound! My emissary is at the wall of Nancy Pelosi’s ivory castle. Pound! Pound! Pound! On the wall then the window opens in the tower and out comes a hairdo! The hairdo says what do you want?” My emissary says, politely, “Larry in New London would like to have a wall around his house to protect his gourmet ice cream, the same as you.” The hairdo says “No! He cannot have it!” The emissary says “No? But how about Lee and Rob and even Rocky? They all would like a wall around their houses. The hairdo says “No to everyone. I your dictator, Nancy Pelosi am the only one that can have a wall to protect gourmet ice cream.” The hairdo went back inside, and the window slammed shut. And her I am. What do I do now? I have an ocean on the west. I have an ocean on the east. And I really don’t remember hearing about anyone wading across Lake Superior trying to sneak in the back way. All I want is one wall on the south side.  All I can see in my future is when Nancy Pelosi wants my gourmet ice cream, she will have to take it out of my cold, dead hands. 

Larry Hample
New London, CT